What should you be doing as a parent to prepare your children for an increasingly hostile secular culture? On Focus on the Family, Christian apologetics author and speaker Natasha Crain provides useful guidance for parents who are trying to train their children to have strong foundations for their Christian faith.
Faith conversations can be like house cleaning
Parents in Western countries are increasingly realizing that raising children with a robust Christian faith is becoming more difficult. A lot of parents can see that it will require more active involvement on their behalf to prepare their children to defend their faith in a secular world.
“It’s not the Sunday school basics anymore” says Natasha Crain who along with her husband is raising three children in Southern California. She has authored four apologetics books including Talking with Your Kids about Jesus which outlines thirty conversations every parent should have with their children to help strengthen their children’s faith.
Natasha draws on the similarities of faith development to good house cleaning habits. Natasha says we can learn from people who have mastered the art of ‘low-grade tidying’, developing small, simple, non-drastic habits that when added together changes the level of tidiness in their home. Natasha explains:
“If we feel overwhelmed with having these huge faith conversations with our children at some point in their lives we are not going to do it.”
Just like cleaning doesn’t come naturally to busy parents, nor does having discussions with your children around challenges they may be facing in their Christian faith. Natasha says discipleship and faith conversations that are pertinent to your child’s faith development should be done regularly. By engaging in conversations on a consistent basis with your child, it becomes less overwhelming.
Challenging secular narratives and structures of meaning
Natasha highlights research that shows those living in the USA who are committed to a biblical worldview are now a minority.
“About 65% of people in America self-identify as a Christian. But when researchers dig deeper into what they actually believe and how their beliefs inform their lives they find that only 4% have a biblical worldview.”
While for some people this is a conscious rejection of orthodox Christianity, for others they are unaware of the difference. The danger, Natasha says, is to not distinguish with your children the different ways a secular worldview, along with it’s language, differs from a Christian worldview. She uses the example of the concept of love and how there is a huge difference between what Christians believe what love is versus the secular culture.
For Christians we want to love others with God’s standards for love and points to Jesus’ response when a Pharisee asks Him of the greatest commandment in the law. In Matthew 22:36-40 Jesus replies:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.
Natasha observes that the sequence of loving God first then people is very important to observe. Essentially Jesus is saying that before we know what it means to love people, we need to first know what it means to love God.
“We want to love people in the way God would want us to love them, regardless of what they want for themselves. Secular culture wants to love people based on what others want for themselves. They are two totally different things.”
In a secular culture, it can become quite pervasive the view that any kind of vocalized disagreement with another is considered judgment. Tolerance has been turned into the religion of day. If you say something is objectively wrong this is seen as hostile whereas sharing your different perspective from a Christian worldview is considered loving.
Shift of Mentality
Parents are the primary disciplers of their kids and should be aware of the types of conversations to be having with children at the different stages of their faith development.
The most important thing, Natasha thinks for parents raising children in an increasingly secular culture is to have a shift in mentality in understanding their role as a parent. As Natash points out, a shift of priorities may be required.
“The number one most important objective of parenting is to raise a child that knows and loves the Lord.”
This requires more investment of your time, as new spiritual and practical minefields are faced by your children as they grow up in the Western culture. As Natash points out, it is better for you to have the conversation with your child first before they are confronted with a difficult topic at school, on the internet or in the playground.
Listen more to Natasha Crain here on the Focus on the Family podcast.
About Natasha Crain
Natasha is a national speaker, author, blogger, and podcaster who is passionate about equipping Christians to think more clearly about holding to a biblical worldview in the midst of an increasingly challenging secular culture. She has been featured on radio and TV shows across the U.S. and Canada, and lives in southern California with her husband and three children.
She has written three apologetics books for parents including: Talking with Your Kids about Jesus (Baker Books, 2020), Talking with Your Kids about God (Baker Books, 2017), and Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side (Harvest House, 2016).